Most headstone inscriptions include an opening line, the person’s name and dates, and a short tribute or verse. There is no strict word count, but stone size and cemetery or churchyard rules will naturally limit how much you can include. In council-run cemeteries across Lincolnshire, the council must approve the wording before installation.
In Church of England churchyards, the parish priest holds delegated authority from the diocese to approve inscriptions, which must be simple, reverent, and compatible with Christian belief. Nicknames are usually permitted if shown in quotation marks alongside the formal name.
Non-religious phrases are handled case by case, with churchyards taking a stricter view than council cemeteries. The legal right to choose the wording and place a headstone normally sits with whoever holds the Deed of Grant for the grave.
Headstone Wording and Approval Guide
Choosing the words for a headstone is one of those tasks that sounds straightforward until you sit down to do it. You are trying to capture a whole person, their name, their character, perhaps a line that sounds like them, and you have a very small amount of space to work with.
Then there are the rules. Churchyard regulations, council guidelines, approval processes. Nobody explains these things at the time of the funeral, and by the time you reach this stage, the last thing you want is more paperwork.
This guide covers what usually appears on a headstone, who needs to approve the wording, and how to handle things like nicknames, Bible verses, and non-religious phrases. If you are going through this for someone you love in Lincolnshire, North Lincolnshire, or North East Lincolnshire, you are not on your own.
What usually goes on a headstone
Most inscriptions follow a fairly familiar pattern. A typical layout includes:
- An opening line, such as “In loving memory of” or “Treasured memories of”
- The person’s full name, sometimes with a maiden name in brackets – for example, “Mary Anne Smith (née Jones)”
- Dates of birth and death, usually in day-month-year format
- A short tribute or verse, perhaps one or two lines
There is no official word count, but stone size and burial ground rules will naturally limit how much fits. Taller lawn headstones allow more text than smaller kerb sets or flat stones, but even then, long passages rarely work well. Practically or visually.
In our experience, the inscriptions that feel most right are the ones that focus on what really matters – the correct name, accurate dates, and a handful of words that actually sound like the person, not something lifted from a template.
Churchyards and cemeteries: who approves the wording?
The rules differ depending on where the grave is located, and this catches a lot of families off guard.
Council-run cemeteries across Lincolnshire and North East Lincolnshire require written approval from the relevant local authority before a headstone can be installed. Councils can refuse wording they consider offensive or inappropriate, and some have quiet preferences around length and style. Working through a mason who already has a relationship with the local offices makes this process considerably smoother.
Church of England churchyards are more tightly regulated. Each diocese publishes its own churchyard regulations, and inscriptions are generally required to be simple, reverent, and compatible with Christian belief. The Chancellor of the diocese delegates authority to the parish priest to approve memorials – including the wording – that fall within those rules.
If the wording you want sits outside the standard guidelines, the priest may decline it, or you may need to apply for a faculty. That is a formal permission process through the diocese, and it sounds more daunting than it usually is. In practice, it often comes down to a conversation, and a small adjustment to the wording is often enough to satisfy the requirements while keeping the meaning intact.
Nicknames, Bible verses, and non-religious phrases
Nicknames can matter a great deal, particularly in close-knit communities and families. Most dioceses and cemeteries will accept a nickname as long as the formal name is also present, and the nickname appears in quotation marks – for example: “Michael John Smith ‘Mick'”. This keeps official records clear while still reflecting the person as they were actually known.
Bible verses and Christian phrases generally sit comfortably in Church of England churchyards. Lines such as “The Lord is my shepherd” or “Resting in God’s care” are rarely queried. Short extracts from hymns or prayers can also be accepted, provided they are reverent and theologically consistent with church teaching.
Non-religious quotes and personal phrases require a bit more care. Council cemeteries are generally more relaxed about this, provided the wording is not offensive or discriminatory. In consecrated churchyards, anything that conflicts with Christian belief, leans heavily secular, or reads as purely humorous is likely to be refused – even if it feels entirely right to your family.
A practical approach, if you are in this situation, is to keep the main inscription straightforward and use a personal phrase in a way that still reads with some dignity in a churchyard context. A good mason will often be able to suggest a small adjustment that preserves what you want to say.
Who has the legal right to choose the wording?
This question comes up more often than people expect, particularly where families are not in agreement.
In most UK cemeteries and churchyards, the person named on the Deed of Grant for the grave holds the legal right to place a headstone and decide the inscription. If you are unsure who holds the deed, the cemetery or churchyard office will be able to tell you.
Where there is disagreement within a family, the practical advice is to work it out before any application is made. Once an inscription is carved, it is there permanently. Getting agreement early – even if it takes a little longer – avoids a difficult situation later.
How we help families in Lincolnshire
Lincolnshire Memorials are BRAMM accredited and listed on the Register of Qualified Memorial Fixers. That means every inscription and installation is handled to recognised national standards.
In practice, that looks like sitting with you – or talking things through by phone or email – listening to what you want the stone to say, and helping shape that into wording that fits both the person and the burial ground. We prepare the inscription layout, submit it to the relevant church or council, and keep you informed throughout. You do not have to argue your case alone.
If you want to talk through ideas – a nickname, a verse, something non-religious, or simply where to start – we are available to help you work out what feels right and what is likely to be accepted.
Call us on 01472 453700 or email info@lincolnshirememorials.com.
Questions Families Often Ask About Headstone Wording
Do we need permission for the wording on a headstone?
Yes, in almost all cases. Council cemeteries in Lincolnshire require written approval from the local authority before a headstone can be installed. In Church of England churchyards, the parish priest holds delegated authority from the diocese to approve inscriptions, which must be simple, reverent, and compatible with Christian belief. A mason will normally handle the submission for you.
Can we include a nickname on the headstone?
Usually yes, provided the person’s formal name is also included and the nickname appears in quotation marks alongside it – for example, “Elizabeth Jane Brown ‘Liz'”. This keeps burial records clear while still reflecting how the person was known. Most councils and dioceses accept this without difficulty.
Are non-religious quotes allowed in a churchyard?
It depends on the wording and the diocese. Council cemeteries are generally more flexible, but in consecrated Church of England churchyards, inscriptions are expected to be reverent and compatible with Christian belief. A gentle, non-religious phrase that does not conflict with that is more likely to be accepted than something humorous or strongly secular in tone. We can usually suggest a small adjustment that keeps the meaning while making approval more likely.
Who has the right to decide what goes on the headstone?
In most UK cemeteries and churchyards, the legal right to place a headstone and choose the inscription sits with the person named on the Deed of Grant for the grave. If there is disagreement within the family, it is best to reach agreement before any application is submitted – once an inscription is carved, it cannot easily be changed.
