Choosing the words for a memorial is often the hardest part of the entire process. There’s a lot of pressure to “get it right,” but the truth is that the most powerful inscriptions are the ones that don’t try too hard.
A headstone is a permanent record. It’s there for the grandchildren and great-grandchildren who may never have met the person being commemorated. At Lincolnshire Memorials, we always advise families to aim for something timeless rather than something trendy.
Here’s how to approach writing an inscription that will stand the test of time.
Start with the Facts
Before you get into the sentiment, you need the details. This isn’t just tradition, it’s history. A century from now, someone may be tracing their family tree in a Lincolnshire churchyard, and these details are their map.
Full Name: Including any middle names or nicknames if appropriate.
Dates: You can use full dates (12th May 1940 – 4th February 2024) or just the years.
Relationships: “A devoted husband, father, and grandfather” provides context that a name alone cannot.
The Beauty of Brevity
It’s tempting to try and sum up a whole life in a few paragraphs, but stone has its limits. The more text you have, the smaller the letters need to be. Small letters are harder to read from a distance and, more to the point, they’re the first things to become unreadable as the stone weathers over the decades.
Keep the personal message short. A single, well-chosen line often carries more weight than a poem.
Avoid Modern Slang on Inscriptions
It sounds blunt, but what seems like a fitting tribute today can look dated in twenty years. Avoid contemporary catchphrases or overly informal language that might lose its meaning. Stick to sentiments that are universal: love, rest, peace, and remembrance.
Think About the Future
If the memorial is for a spouse, you need to consider the layout for later. We often see headstones where the first inscription is centred in a way that leaves no room for a second name when the time comes.
When we design a stone, we look at the visual balance. We can offset the first inscription so that when a partner’s details are added, the headstone looks complete rather than cluttered or lopsided.
Common vs. Unique Phrasing
There’s nothing wrong with the classics. “Rest in Peace,” “In Loving Memory,” or “Gone but not forgotten” are used for a reason: they’re dignified and clear.
But if you want something more personal, think about a quiet truth about the person.
- Instead of: “He liked gardening.”
Try: “At rest in his final garden.” - Instead of: “She was a very kind person.”
Try: “A life lived with grace and kindness.”
Check (and Double Check) the Spelling
It sounds obvious, but once a letter is carved into granite or limestone, it’s very difficult (and expensive) to fix. We provide a full proof of the layout before any tool touches the stone. Take your time with it. Read it out loud. Have someone else look at it.
A Memorial That Lasts
An inscription doesn’t have to be a literary masterpiece. It just needs to be true. If you’re struggling to find the words, we have a collection of verses and traditional phrasings at our workshop that can serve as a starting point.
The goal is a memorial that looks as intentional and respectful in 100 years as it does today. If you’d like some guidance on wording, or you’re not sure how to balance the layout, get in touch. We’re here to help.
Your Questions on Memorial Inscriptions
How long should a memorial inscription be?
Keep it short. A single line or verse often has more impact than multiple paragraphs, and smaller text becomes harder to read as the stone weathers over time.
Can I use a nickname on a headstone?
Yes, you can. Many families include a nickname alongside the formal name to reflect how the person was known and loved in life.
What if I want to add a second name later?
We design stones with future inscriptions in mind. The first name can be offset so there’s space for a partner’s details without the layout looking unbalanced.
Are there rules about what I can write?
Churchyards and cemeteries may have guidelines on wording and layout. We’ll guide you through what’s allowed in your chosen location and help you find the right words within those rules.
What happens if there’s a spelling mistake?
We provide a proof before any carving begins. Take your time reviewing it, read it aloud, and have someone else check it too. Once carved, corrections are difficult and costly.
